Mother ruins two out of three of her kids' weddings, youngest daughter tells her she will never get married because of it: ‘Your continued interference and disrespect are the reason why.'

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Mar 4, 2025 10:00 PM EST

Everyone at a wedding has a different experience. The bride and groom have an entirely different experience than the in laws; the +1 guest have an entirely different experience than the close family member guests; etc. You see? You can't predict how it is going to go. But if it is your wedding, you should be able to call the shots. Even though it is all different experiences, everyone should know it is an experience for the bride and groom. 

 

So when a mother does nothing but make her children's weddings worse, well… Then something is very very off. As a mother, you should want your kids to be getting married to the right person who will care for them forever, and to have a wonderful wedding day and night that will warm their hearts every time they think back on it. This mother, however, did not get that memo. She ruined the eldest daughter's wedding, her youngest son's engagement, and is now already messing with her middle daughter about marriage, even though she is not even engaged! 

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  • So, the mom had to be called out. Enough was enough. This mom literally stole invites out of her eldest daughter's car so she could invite a bunch of people her daughter didn't want to invite. Now, she was giving her son trouble because he wanted to have a much smaller wedding. All while she's bugging her middle daughter to get engaged even though she's been told their view on marriage over and over again. So the middle child stepped up.

  • Cheezburger Image 10475488512
    via Unsplash+ (and Scott Webb)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for telling my mom she's part of the reason I don't want to get married?"

    My mom, we'll call her Heather, is a traditionalist at heart. She has always wanted to see her children get married, have big families and good careers. While her feelings are valid, she is also a narcissist. She tends to put her thoughts, feelings and opinions above those of everyone else.
    via Turbulent_Claim1275
  • Last year, my brother, we'll call him James (M 26), was planning his wedding to my now sister-in- law, we'll call her Jill (F 24). James is the baby of the family and the only boy. Heather has doted over him his whole life. James and I were raised Catholic. Heather insisted that James and Jill go to marriage counseling and get married in the church, etc. James agreed that they would and mom was pleased.
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  • Fast forward a few months, James and Jill continued to have issues deciding on things like who would be in the bridal party, who they were inviting, where they would get catering, etc. I tried to remain supportive as one of James' older sisters, I was just happy to be there for him and Jill on their special day. James and Jill finally decided that they were going to have a church wedding and only invite the most immediate family: moms, dads, siblings and grandparents. No
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  • aunts. No uncles. No cousins. Heather was furious. She began demanding that they invite her extended family to the wedding or else. Every single time that James or Jill or both of them were at the house, Heather would begin trying to "convince" them that it was the right thing to do; she told them they'd regret it in the future if they didn't. Jill's
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  • mother also made several objections to the plan and refused to attend if certain individuals were not invited. James and Jill became so fed up with Heather and Jill's mom, they made a secret plan with Jill's grandparents. They would have a beach wedding near the grandparents' Florida condo and Jill's grandparents would stand as their witnesses. No one, but the grandparents would know about the wedding.
    via Turbulent_Claim1275
  • Cheezburger Image 10475499264
    via Unsplash+ (and Joe Eitzen)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Unfortunately, things took an unexpected turn when Jill's grandmother passed unexpectedly (about a month before the wedding). After the funeral, Heather attended a luncheon with my dad, Jill, James, Jill's grandfather, and Jill's parents. James bucked up the courage and told Heather about the secret wedding. I didn't know a single thing about the secret plan myself. Heather
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  • called me dry-heaving and sobbing asking if I knew. I said no and asked why it was so bad? James and Jill had been so indecisive and since everyone was dictating how their wedding should be, I wasn't surprised. Heather's response, "You'll never understand because you aren't a mother."
    via Turbulent_Claim1275
  • I'd have been okay if she had left things there, but any time I am with Heather and people ask how she is or how James is, she goes, "You'll never guess what James did to me!!" To her? I began telling her to stop because people like the chiropractor and the nurse getting her bloodwork don't need to know about the wedding.
    via Turbulent_Claim1275
  • At the end of last year, I was sitting my sister and brother-in- law at their home. My sister, we'll call her Jane, and I were talking about James and Jill when she dropped a bomb on me. I had been the MOH in Jane's wedding. Jane was married in 2011 and had a huge wedding. It was a wonderful day of food, dancing and family... or so I thought. I had noticed that when a few of the guests arrived, Jane's faced had fallen, but at the time I didn't think much of it; I was 16 and having fun.
    via Turbulent_Claim1275
  • It turns out that Jane hadn't invited those people to the wedding or the reception. Jane had not wanted these people at the wedding for various reasons and had told Heather as such. Heather had stolen invitations out of Jane's car and invited these people, anyway. Jane was furious and I can't say as I blame her.
    via Turbulent_Claim1275
  • Cheezburger Image 10475499520
    via Unsplash+ (and Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Heather has been dropping hints to my now boyfriend of 5 years. My boyfriend, we'll call him Tim, does not want to get married. He and I have discussed this at length, but Heather insists that she can "convince" Tim to change his mind.
    via Turbulent_Claim1275
  • The last time Tim and I were at the house, Heather was talking about the fact that we were going out to celebrate our anniversary. Heather said, "I hope to see a ring on it soon!" My face went red. I have told her 100 times over that she needs to respect our wishes and stop bringing up marriage. Tim laughed it off, but I was done.
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  • When Tim left to go to work, I stayed back. Heather kept looking at me and finally asked, "Okay, what's wrong with you?" | responded, "What's wrong with me? No, what's wrong with you. You have been so disrespectful to me, to Tim, to James, to Jill and to Jane. You don't want to listen. None of us appreciated that you have tried to interfere in our relationships/marriages. I don't want to get married and your continued interference and disrespect are the reason why."
    via Turbulent_Claim1275
  • Heather went stone faced. She began saying that she was just a b***h and that everyone just hates her and that obviously her feelings don't matter. I was furious. If Tim decides he wants to marry me, I want it to be because he wants to not because she convinced him. I do not want Heather inviting everyone and their brother or doing things behind my back, if I ever do have a wedding. Marriage is supposed to be about family, yes, but not when it is forced or coerced. So, AITA?
    via Turbulent_Claim1275

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